youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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