that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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