Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
