i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
