But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
