Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
