If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
