I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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