She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
