Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
