508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Randomize
