Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Randomize
