Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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