we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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