i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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