My nipple is on Facebook.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize