Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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