Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
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