He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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