This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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