oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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