I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize