An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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