since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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