he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
