I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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