The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
