oh god the rape fog is back!
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
