When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
