He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
My pussy is not your playground.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
