No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Randomize
