if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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