is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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