He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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