last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
