hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
