Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
