I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
