There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old