well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
