I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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