i was rollin on her like bob the builder
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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