You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
