My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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