hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
