The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
