I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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