There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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