Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
