if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Can I color on your dick again?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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