Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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