Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i already hear my dad disowning me
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
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when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
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My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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