The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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