Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
