i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Gay?
German.
Pity.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
