I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
