The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
