I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just found puke in my bra..
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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