I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Two words: nipple clamps
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