we have officially lost it.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
