He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
