nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
He told me they were just razor bumps!
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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