if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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