New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
