Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.