I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
i think i just lost a toe
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
