found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
thus making me awesome and them whores
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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