Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
