Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Boobs speak an international language.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
